Workout of the Day

How to Get Overweight, Unfit, and Unhealthy in Five Easy Steps


It’s easy, really. Let’s lay it out:

1. Move minimally. Say ‘no’ to stairs, distant parking spots, and active hobbies. Exercise only when you really feel like it, and always be on the lookout for the shortest and easiest distance between two places to sit or lie down.

2. Let your food consumption be governed by sensory satiety and the thrall of novel and intense flavors, not by biological necessity or function.

3. Don’t eat vegetables, seriously.

4. As much as possible, deflect responsibility for your physical condition, calling upon genetics, aging, schedule demands, or anything else external as reasoning for your less-than-optimal habits and results.

5. Prioritize life’s distractions, fleeting pleasures, and the pressures of peers and conventions in your decision-making process.

I don’t think it needs to be said that you should obviously not follow any of the instruction listed above. But sometimes it takes a reminder of how absurd all of these self-defeating choices truly are to see that we may in fact partake in more of them than we would care to admit. Let's be real: putting on excess body fat and throwing away your health and fitness is easy in our modern world. And not only is it easy, it's the norm. That means it's going to take some extra work and a deviant value system to turn away from what's common and turn towards your best self, and those steps will likely be hard. Are you up for it?

- PS


  • Farmer’s carry - 4x100m

  • 3 rounds, every 3 minutes complete, for time:

    • 200m row

    • 100m sprint